Now that you’ve been introduced to what kink is generally, let’s talk about negotiation. Negotiation is the process of communication in order to reach an agreement with someone around kinky play, which can even mean agreeing not to engage with each other at all. In the kink world, a successful negotiation is simply one where everyone’s boundaries are explored and respected, with each person feeling empowered to make authentic choices.

Just as there are many different ways to practice kink, there are many different ways to negotiate. However you do it, keeping consent at the center of negotiation is key. In this section of the course, we'll use Consent Academy’s 4-part model of consent to provide a step-by step framework for negotiating kinky play.

The model above illustrates our risk-reduction approach to practicing consent in general. It shows that consent is based in a foundation of autonomy and supported by pillars of capacity, information (which requires both knowledge and understanding to act on), and agreements & boundaries. Autonomy appears again as the roof, symbolizing that consent is a multi-directional process - each person starts with their own foundation of autonomy and needs to respect the autonomy of others by participating in building the pillars between them. If any of the pillars are missing, the structure would be unstable and might collapse (resulting in a consent violation). Lastly, vines of power weave throughout every part of the model, showing how power affects every part of consent.

Now let's break this down step-by-step and show how it applies to a kink negotiation.